He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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