I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
