I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
