Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I need moral support for this bender
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
