So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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