Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
