you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
