There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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