So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Randomize
