shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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