Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
