im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
