TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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