singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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