a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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