just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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