But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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