I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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