Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
