I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
