Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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