is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
