my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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