Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
