Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
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