I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Randomize
