3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
