I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Randomize
