Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
