just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
