i may or may not be watching the land before time
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
