I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
