i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
