no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
