I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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