I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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