you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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