i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
