hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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