yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
