my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
