I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
love makes seman taste better
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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