I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
