why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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