"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
