wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
