just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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