My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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