Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
