just tell him i said nine months
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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