ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I cut my penus on the lid.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
