Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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